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My body suddenly felt cold. While Joanie and I never did take our relationship further, I did still think of her as someone very special to me. More than special. Much more. Her revelation took the wind out of me. It looked like she had her sights set on someone. ‘So why don’t you ask this guy what he intends to do?’ I continued, not wanting to betray my breaking heart and sadness. ‘I did but he doesn’t have firm plans yet. Maybe it’s just too early.’ she mentioned as she continued to look into my eyes with an intensity that I’ve never known before. ‘You don’t know who I’m referring to, do you?’ she asked hesitantly. My ship was sinking fast and she asked me if I knew who her special guy was? Could I feel any worse? Not only had my balloon burst but the remnant pieces were being scattered in the wind…. ‘No, and I’m not sure if I want to know. Joanie, …’ I started off. ‘Mark,..’ she butted in. ‘Wait, let me finish because this is hard for me to get out.’ I blurted out and paused. Apart from anything else, it's not easy for girls to adapt to living with my other girls. Showing possessiveness, competitiveness or just bitchiness ends a relationship damned quickly, and just the absence of happiness does so sooner rather than later too. I was being careful with Nevaeh not because I expected her to be around for long, but to avoid her screwing up her life badly because of her over-commitment to me. I was responsible for that so had to take care."Okay Mark. I'm sorry. I didn't know and I was worried. The last few hours have been very stressful for me..." I'll do my best to make the next few hours FAR, FAR better, sweetie. Hopefully better than you've ever had before." Oh boy! I hope so. I've been getting very worked up about that too. I can come any time you want, even right now. Please?" I've got some other things to do first. I'm just leaving home now to do them. Let's stick to 11 please. I should be ready by then." I'm MORE than ready right now! I've been ready.
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